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There is one important fact about human nature. Without respect, abuse tends to follow. To command respect signals that you won’t tolerate abuse. It also means you probably won’t have to.
The vast majority of humans just want to get along. As children, we’re taught social skills and acceptable ways to treat one another. The goal is what my husband calls a quiet life. We want people to believe what we say and to follow our guidance. We want them to uphold their promises and obligations to us and trust us to do the same for them.
The human psyche has needs. Our value needs to be seen and appreciated. If we have skills or knowledge, we want others to recognize it. We’re not after a pedestal, we just want to enjoy what we’ve earned.
We want respect.
How do you know if someone respects you? Or maybe an easier question is, how do you know when they don’t?
Photographer discussion groups are loaded with examples of gigs gone wrong. The problem can be anything from contract signings in limbo, fiasco photo sessions, and expired galleries, to just about anything you can’t even imagine. Regardless of what the problem is, often times the root cause boils down to one unfortunate fact: the client doesn’t respect them.
Distracted, Demanding, and Disdainful
Some people believe that modern culture is to blame. Pushy personalities are the result of wanting it all and wanting it now, because there isn’t enough time or money to accomplish everything they’re expected to accomplish. They take it out on their fellow human being. The result is distracted, demanding clients who may or may not make the effort we’d like. Or they make too much effort in ways we do not like.
The other personality is the disdainful client, who sees the photographer as a means to an end. They don’t necessarily want to pay the asking price. They don’t understand what goes into the process, they just know what they want to get out of it. These are the people who will casually ask what your “real job” is when you’re not snapping photos with your “nice camera”. Or who will – heaven forbid – tell a woman that her husband must have a “good job” so that she can indulge her hobby.
Because these people exist, these interactions are going to happen. But if you drop in on one of those groups I mentioned and listen to the discussion, you’ll notice that these things seem to happen to the same photographers over and over. Or the same types of things happen to the same types of photographers. When I say same types of photographers, I don’t mean same with regard to work product, genre, or geography. I’m talking about a personality and behavior that seems to attract these problems. At the very least, they seem unable to deal with the problem once it’s arisen.
Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way to head these things off before they got started? Even if we couldn’t prevent every possible problem, shouldn’t we do everything we can to limit the drama?
The easy solution is to reject the prospect before they become a client, or fire them once we’ve had enough. Neither, however, does much good for our bottom line. Besides, first impressions can usually be wrong and with a little guidance, these prospects can become a profitable relationship.
This is where Step One really shows its importance. No, not the first step where you respond to their inquiry. Not even the step where you toss your offer into the world to see who responds.
Step One: Make sure your client respects you
When a client shows up late, or shows up with 3 more people than you expected, that’s disrespectful. When you explain to your wedding client that the 15 minutes they’ve allowed for bridal portraits isn’t going to get the result they want and are ignored, that is disrespectful. Asking to reopen expired galleries that were neglected, avoiding sales meetings, or demanding digitals they know you don’t offer? Absolutely. Disrespectful.
There is one more fact about human nature. Without respect, abuse tends to follow. To command respect signals that you won’t tolerate abuse. It also means you probably won’t have to.
If your client respects you, they not only take your guidance, they may ask for it.
When is the best time of day to get married in this venue for the best photos?
What colors do you recommend our family wears for these beach photos?
Rather than strike a pose and expect you to press the shutter button, they let you direct them into awkward, uncomfortable positions. They consider your advice when you explain why this size canvas works better in their living room.
Everything about the situation is better if your client respects you.
So how do you make sure your client respects you?
Just like so many other things in your business, this starts with you. As children we were told that if you want respect, you need to give respect. What you send out is reflected back to you. If you treat your client with respect, they will treat you with respect. Even if respect isn’t your goal, you should always be respectful of others.
But what if that doesn’t work? What if we do everything right, and our client still doesn’t reciprocate? What if they interpret it as something else? Instead of what you expect, you find yourself being treated like a rug and your client is walking all over you.
Once we’ve ticked the box of being respectful to our prospects and clients, there’s no guarantee we will be treated that way in return.
Every day it becomes more and more obvious that respect isn’t a thing some people give out on first glance. Rather than assuming someone will respect us, let’s take a different approach. Let’s treat every situation – and every client – as though respect is not something given. It is something that must be earned.
There are five (5) essential factors to earning your photography client’s respect.
These factors are:
- 1) Self respect
- 2) Confidence
- 3) Boundaries
- 4) Professionalism
- 5) Relationship
Let’s take a look at each component, as well as how they work together.
1) Self respect
Is it possible that in your efforts, you forgot to show respect for someone else in this relationship? Again, that someone is you.
Your client won’t respect you if you don’t first respect yourself.
Self respect begins internally, but shows itself externally. The way you carry yourself, the way you speak and the language you use all broadcast self respect. In the age of Casual Friday, some people have forgotten that the first thing that comes out of their closet is not necessarily the thing to wear.
Don’t come across as a disheveled, disorganized mess and be disappointed that you’re not able to close a $5,000 sale. Look like you’re worth the money you want to make. This doesn’t mean showing up in a Mercedes flashing a Rolex and diamond rings. This isn’t fake-it-till-you-make-it bullshit. People want to see what they’re getting for their money, and until you present them with their own fabulous photographs, all they have to go on is you. Even your cherry picked portfolio might not be strong enough to overcome a bad first impression.
People have preconceptions about what success looks like. A tidy, well groomed appearance is part of what most people expect. The care that you show toward yourself also indicates the care they can expect from you. The product you produce is visual. Part of that visual product includes yourself.
Remember that you are your brand. Everything that you show the world goes into what people think about you and your brand.
2) Confidence
Another natural benefit of self respect is confidence. It’s one thing to be confident in your technical abilities. But photographers don’t just sell their technical abilities. To a large degree, they also sell themselves. If your prospect can’t see themselves working with you, you’re not going to get the job.
When you look good, and feel good, and your portfolio looks good, you can’t help but carry yourself with confidence.
But confidence isn’t all about appearances. If you know that your pricing, processes, and systems all work together in the best way possible for you and your client, you can handle everything from inquiries to concerns with graceful ease. If your contracts, insurance, and financial systems are correctly in place, you’re not handicapped by the fear of things going wrong before they even get going.
You must be confident in your business, the way you run your business, and the way you transact business.
Respect is a byproduct of the confidence you project.
3) Boundaries
Anyone with children knows that without boundaries, it’s easy to lose control. If we don’t explain why it’s a bad idea to run into the street, or to ask if Billy can spent the night while both your kid and Billy stand there with big eyes and expectant faces, uncomfortable things will happen.
When you operate with that confidence previously mentioned, it’s easy to set boundaries. You decide the policies and model that your business will use. These aren’t arbitrary rules and systems, these are what you believe to be the best for you and your client. Your goals, desires, and experience have proven this to your satisfaction.
Part of running a business is the ability to take policies, and exceptions to them, on a case by case basis. If you choose to allow changes or waive one of your rights, that’s your choice. If you continue to do so, however, don’t be surprised if your client begins to help themselves to their own choice of exceptions, with or without your approval.
Nothing grates on the nerves like “I didn’t think you’d mind” when your client shows up 20 minutes late for their 1 hour appointment.
The policies you explain to your client will set the expectations for the entire relationship. Be clear and consistent and both you and your client will always know where you stand.
4) Professionalism
Remember that you’re the professional and the expert in what it is you happen to be providing for your client.
You can set boundaries through your policies because you have the confidence to do so. As a photography business owner, your main job is not actually photography. It is the management of expectations between your client and yourself.
We tell ourselves that the client is in charge. They come to us with their needs and they know what they want. It is up to us to create the thing they want within a certain degree of limits. Times, locations, and other factors may be outside our control. Weddings and events are examples of this. The camera owner in us is ready to show up and take the photos. The professional, on the other hand, wants – and needs – to contribute more to the process than just showing up.
Any photographer frustrated by unrealistic schedules knows exactly what I’m talking about. To be in that moment and hear the ironic comment “Just tell us what you want us to do. You’re the professional,” while your bride has already mentally moved on to other things, is surreal in its frustration.
The confident professional would do his or her best to preempt this moment.
“Yes, I am the professional. And I can tell you from experience that this timeline is not going to give you the result you expect. We need at least half an hour more of dedicated time to get the photos you’ll be happy with.”
Do this early, do it with confidence, and set the tone going forward.
They are hiring you for your work, they are relying on your professionalism. Everything you have presented along the way should live up to that level of professionalism you want your brand to represent. This is how you earn the client’s trust. With that trust you can flex your expertise to the benefit of all concerned.
5) Relationship
The main reason you can accomplish your full potential is because of that trust you’ve earned. Your self respect, confidence, and professionalism have built a relationship between you and your client.
You know that even before you are hired, your client is looking for someone to create something important. Hearing their story is every bit as important to you as the photos are to them. This helps you craft just the right images to tell that story.
Without that relationship, you’re just another vendor your client hired to provide a product. There will be nothing in the images that connects with the client beyond knowing the names of the persons in the photos.
This is true not only for weddings and rites of passage. Even the locations and props for family portraits can be selected to weave the right story. Brand photography is pointless without the unique story told about the client in the photos. To tell the story, you need to know and understand it first.
Photography creates emotions. The deeper the emotions you create for your client, the more respect they will have for you and for your work.
When all else fails…don’t be the failure
It may take extra effort to convince a potential client the service and experience you provide is worth every penny you charge. They may have objections or make requests that you’re willing to honor, but are an inconvenience. Not every client will warm to you, even when you’ve demonstrated your value.
Projects can start out on track and show cracks along the way. Clients will test your boundaries. You can do everything right, and still be one of those photographers who brings a sob story to a discussion group.
Clients still can – and will – disrespect you. The important thing then is how you respond to the situation. You can lower yourself to a problem client’s level. But doing so risks your own self respect. Remember that the respect you have for yourself is the first step in earning respect from others. Once you’ve met a discourteous client on their own turf, so to speak, it’s hard to rely on other factors. Confidence, professionalism, and certainly relationship, have gone out the window.
When all is said and done, the things we learned as children are still the best policy. Treat others with respect. If it doesn’t come back to you, even after you’ve worked hard to earn it, then the problem isn’t you. Be satisfied it isn’t a pattern that you’ve set in motion to your own detriment.
Move on to your next client with professionalism and confidence. Respect will follow.